The Difference Between Belonging and Witnessing
Homecoming isn't always a return to belonging. Sometimes it's a recognition of how much we've changed—and how impossible it can be to show the people who love us who we've become.
Dear Fellow Travelers,
It's been a while since I've released a new chapter, but Chapter 9: "Belong With Me" is ready—and it represents something of a breakthrough for me as both a writer and a person.
An Epiphany in Transit
After months of writing and of traveling through India and Indonesia, I came to a realization that changed how I see this entire project. I was no longer simply traveling through the world—I was belonging with it in ways I didn't expect and sometimes didn't want.
There's a crucial difference between these two experiences, just as there's a crucial difference between belonging with something and merely witnessing it.
Where Chapter 9 Fits
This chapter sits at the heart of a three-part arc:
Chapter 8 "Avatāra" explores descent—literal and metaphorical—into the world as it actually is. But descent poses a problem: do we belong in these new places we find ourselves, or do we become something else entirely?
Chapter 9 "Belong With Me" examines what happens when we realize we no longer fit where we're supposed to belong—when the people who love us are loving a version of ourselves that no longer exists.
Chapter 10 "Witness" (coming soon) explores what it means to bear witness when belonging becomes impossible.
The Absurdity of Trying to Explain
Through this writing process, I've learned something humbling: stringing words together poetically isn't sufficient. Writing is an experience in learning what to say, why to say it, and how to allow readers to derive their own meaning.
Camus called our human need to organize the incomprehensible "absurd." In that sense, every attempt to capture unexplainable experience in words is itself absurd. But that doesn't rob writing—or life—of meaning. It testifies to the opposite: while we can never know everything, we can expand our understanding through travel, reading, and witnessing the experiences of others.
A Confession
I'll be honest with you: this hasn't been the fun read I initially promised. And these chapters haven't been particularly enjoyable to write. But that's part of the experience—part of life itself. Sometimes the most meaningful journeys are the difficult ones. Nothing grows in a comfortable place.
For me, this has become the most exciting thing I've ever undertaken. For you, I'm sure it doesn't always feel that way. But I want to thank you for the time you've taken to read what I've written, and I hope you'll continue with me as we journey toward completion sometime next year.
What You'll Find in Chapter 9
Without spoiling the experience, this chapter explores the painful realization that homecoming isn't always a return to belonging. Sometimes it's a recognition of how much we've changed—and how impossible it can be to show the people who love us who we've become.
It's about the performance we put on to protect others from the stranger we've transformed into, and the isolation that performance creates.
Chapter 9: "Belongs With Me" Link
As always, your insights, questions, and even your resistance to the material help shape this work. Thank you for being witnesses to this becoming.
With gratitude,
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